The Evils Of "Promospeak"

I know that speaking and, more importantly, understanding industry lingo is an important and inevitable aspect of doing business... to a point. Unfortunately, some folks take speaking in industry terms a bit too far. What really gets me is how many people will hear a word or phrase and over use it without bothering to consider it's meaning. It's painful to listen to someone wearing out the latest buzzword when I know they have no idea what the hell they're talking about. Before you know it, everyone is inserting this incorrect and out-of-context nonsense into every other sentence. I call this phenomena "Promospeak" and liken it to other embarrassing fads like popped collars, pointy-toed shoes, Karaoke and mullets.

Here is an example of a fictional conversation between a Group Account Director, Account Executive and a Creative Director based on buzzwords and trendy phrases that I've heard bandied about while working in this industry...

GAD: "Hey, can you reach out to the client and set up a top-to-top? We really need to gain alignment on how quickly he wants us to flush out this UTC promotion. I know this is red hot, but the earliest I'll be able to get some face time is tomorrow AM."

AE: "No worries. He's out of pocket 'till 4 today anyways."

CD: "I just need some insight on whether he wants us to leverage the equity of last quarter's advertising, or lift the DNA from the new BOGO promotion. You know I have a lot of heart for the overall look and feel of that creative."

(Note that I've only included a mere fraction of buzzwords in the above dialogue, but it's enough to make my point.)

Now, let's take a look at a few of these trendy buzzword/phrases and substitute plain English in their place. Hopefully, if you've been infected with "Promospeak" we'll have you speaking like a sane and rational human being in no time at all!

"Reach out" - In plain English this means "to contact". Unless you're Sgt. Sipowicz from NYPD Blue, you've got no business "reaching out" to anyone! Just say "call".

"Gain alignment" (a.k.a. "Get all our ducks in a row", "Get on the same page", etc.) - In plain English this means "to come to an agreement or understanding". Gain alignment? I want to meet the pretentious ass who stole this off his "word of the day" calendar, and punch him in the esophagus. Just say "understand".

"Flush out" - First of all, it's "Flesh out", not "Flush out". In plain English "flesh out" means "to build upon", or "to finish". If you're saying "flush out" then you want to discard or dispose of whatever you are referring to. I'm always shocked at how many people screw this one up. Just say "finish".

"Face time" - In plain English this means "meeting in person". Thankfully I don't hear this one too much anymore. I guess the memo must have gotten out that says "uttering the words 'face time' means you're a putz of the first order". Just say "meet".

"No worries" - In plain English this means "OK". Listen, stop telling me that there is nothing to worry about, and just say "OK"! OK?

"Out of pocket" - In plain English this means "requiring an outlay of cash". It DOES NOT MEAN "being unavailable". I hear this trendy, yet erroneous phrase daily, and cringe every time. I guess all the cool kids are using the Urban Dictionary instead of Merriam-Webster these days. Insert dejected eye-roll here. Just say "unavailable" if that's what you mean.

"Leverage the equity" - In plain English this means "use what has become publicly recognizable". Equity isn't a bad term to use. At least when it's not inserted into every sentence. In some cases I've heard people say equity when they are talking about what was created last quarter. In that case just say "use last quarter's shit".

"Lift the DNA" - Used primarily in the Creative Department, in plain English this means "utilize existing elements". Another example of creative folks getting a little too creative! Just say "use the existing look".

"Have heart for... " - In plain English this means "I (really) like it". I almost vomited in my mouth when I first heard this posturing drivel. I was in a meeting where no less than three people where using it to punctuate their every thought. Sad but true. Obviously, if you like something, just say "I like it".

Now let's try that conversation again, but this time in plain English...

GAD: "Hey, can you call the client and schedule a meeting? We need to understand exactly what they want regarding the UTC promotion. I know it's past due, but I'm unavailable to meet until tomorrow morning."

AE: "OK."

CD: "I also need to know if the client wants us to use last quarter's advertising shit, or use existing elements from the new BOGO promotion. I like the new promotional artwork."

While not as flashy and exciting as using new (and sometimes nonsensical) words, plain English is both to the point and easily understandable. As I stated before, using and understanding a few industry terms is one thing. Overusing trendy buzzwords for the sake of trying to sound hip is just irritating.